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Earlier, I shared about how to set up your values which will drive your goals. Once values are laid out then you set up goals that will make those things happen. Using the examples the previous post – your husband might be like a friend’s husband and want his dinner on the table when he comes home from work so your goal is to have a home cooked meal prepared by 6 pm. Being cheerful – memorize an appropriate Scripture each week; always speak kind words to cashiers; etc. Being fit – lose 10 pounds; walk 4 times a week; etc.
Then you take your goals and drill them down into daily activities. Again using the above goals – go grocery shopping on Thursday; plan your weekly meals on Wednesday; be home at 4 o’clock each day; etc.
By having the plan based on values, the mundane and monotonous things we do in life suddenly have value. There is a sense of urgency about what we are doing.
I would suggest that you take just one value – Christ-follower; husband; father; wife; mother; volunteer; etc. – and work on that one for a month or two than add another value, goal and daily tasks.
How do you know which one to start with? Ask yourself where you have the most “pain” – emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. Since I minister mostly to woman I can tell you that 99 times out of a 100 married women need to start with being a wife. As long as being a Christ follower is pretty solid the next step will be there. Even if you have an over the top marriage, there are always things you can do to make it better. Do that then move on to the next step.
For me the biggest challenge is to work the plan after I have planned the work. This is a great verse to motivate you on the path…
And in this matter I give my judgment: this benefits you, who a year ago started not only to do this work but also to desire to do it. So now finish doing it as well, so that your readiness in desiring it may be matched by your completing it out of what you have. For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. 2 Corinthians 8:10-12 (English Standard Version)
May we all finish well in the end by finishing well each day!
Several have asked how I set my goals and plans so I thought I would share with you how I do it. First, you begin with what your values are… what matters most in your life… what you want people to say about you at your funeral… what you are willing to die for. For example a value might be to be an I Peter 3 wife or to love your wife as Christ loves the church or to be cheerful or to be physically fit. Here is my mission and values:
Mission:
Because of the love of Christ, my mission is to see the Kingdom of God advanced especially in the areas of personal financial giving and discipleship by using my gifts of communication and leadership skills.
Value #1:
I love Christ – I spend quality one on one time with Christ and share Him with others. (Phi. 3:8)
Value #2:
I have integrity – I live a life above reproach both morally and emotionally. (Psalm 15:1, 2)
Value #3:
I am cheerful – My attitude is upbeat and encouraging to others. (I Thes. 5:11)
Value #4:
I seek Truth – Only true understanding will set anyone free from bondage. (John 8:32)
Value #5:
I love my friends – I nurture the relationships with my family through prayer, contacting them and sharing with them. (Psalm 55:14)
Value #6:
I love my family – I nurture the relationships with my family through prayer, contacting them and sharing with them. (Joshua 24:15)
Value #7:
I strive for excellence – I do my best in all things so that God can be glorified. (I Cor. 10:31)
Value #8:
I am financially secure – Money is a means to an end and I handle money frugally. Debt is none or a minimum. (Proverbs 31:16)
Value #9:
I am an influencer – I seek to positively influence all those around me to either show them Christ or to bring them closer to His presence. (Matt. 28:19, 20)
Value #10:
I am productive – My works will demonstrate my faith. (James 2:18)
Value #11:
I am physically fit – I avoid bad habits (i.e. fried foods) and practice good habits in eating and physical exercise. (I Cor. 6:19, 20)
I will follow up with Part 2 of Getting It Done Intentionally on how to turn these values into Goals and Daily Task.
As I have mentioned before, gluttony is one of my “regular” besetting sins. To help me in this area I have to make a plan for my meals and then execute the plan. I begin with reviewing my calendar and determine when I will not be eating out and plug it into an excel spreadsheet. (I usually do just two weeks at a time but since I will be out of town for a week in January I went ahead and did the month.) Then I determine how many meals I need – this time I needed 23 breakfasts, 20 lunches and 17 dinners.
Using some old recipes as well as new recipes I then start plugging meals into the spread sheet (breakfast usually doesn’t change.) Here is my spreadsheet with a few days plugged in:
The recipes I used this time were Lime Chicken (4 servings), Easy Turkey Meatloaf (8 servings), Mexican Chicken Casserole (8 servings), Autumn Glazed Pork Chops (4 servings) and Vegetarian Chili (15 servings). Once the spreadsheet is filled out, I can then make my grocery list. After going to the grocery store on Friday night, I cooked Saturday morning and made yogurt, the five recipes, bag of brown rice above as well as eight smoothies. All are frozen in single serving sizes and I will thaw each out as I go through the month.
By doing this I save LOTS of money, calories and stress. Let me know if you try doing this as well.
October 23rd, 2009 Filed under Intentional Living Comments Off
One of the devotions I read from is The One Year Book of Christian History by E. Michael and Sharon Rusten where each day tells of an event that happened that day in Christian history. Today’s reading was a writing by Nathan Cole, a farmer and carpenter, that told of his journey to hear the legendary preacher, George Whitefield. Here is just a portion:
…one morning all on a Sudden, about 8 or 9 o’clock there came a messenger and said Mr. Whitefield preached at Hartford and Weathersfield yesterday and is to preach at Middletown this morning [October 23, 1740] at ten of the Clock. I was in my field at Work. I dropt my tool that I had in my hand and ran home and run through my house and bade my wife get ready…and run to my pasture for my horse with all my might fearing that I should be too late to hear him. I brought my horse home and soon mounted and took my wife up and went forward as fast as I thought the horse could bear, and when my horse began to be out of breath, I would get down and put my wife on the Saddle and bid her ride as fast as she could and not Stop or Slack for me except I bad her, and so I would run until I was much out of breath, and then mount my horse again, and so I did several times to favour my horse, we improved every moment to get along as if we were fleeing for our lives, all the while fearing we should be too late to hear the Sermon..
And when we came within about half a mile of the road that comes down from Hartford Weathersfield and Stepney to Middletown; on high land I saw before me a Cloud or fog rising. I first thought it came from the great river, but as I came nearer the Road, I heard a noise something like a low rumbling thunder and presently found it was the noise of horses feet coming down the road and this Cloud was a Cloud of dust made by the Horses feet. It arose some Rods (rod = 16.5 feet) into the air over the tops of the hills and trees and when I came within about 20 rods of the Road, I could see men and horses Sliping along in the Cloud like shadows, and as I drew nearer it seemed like a steady stream of horses and their riders, scarcely a horse more than his length behind another, all of a lather and foam with sweat, their breath rolling out of their nostrils in the cloud of dust every jump; every horse seemed to go with all his might to carry his rider to hear news from heaven for the saving of Souls…
Mr. Cole made it in time to hear Rev. Whitefield and according to him, “My hearing him preach gave me a heart wound.” I’m afraid to say that in my world of great preaching on a weekly – and even daily – basis I am not quick to throw my tool to the ground and mount my horse to get a heart wound. Oh, I make excuses…I am too busy. Too tired. Too whatever. But the truth is I am just spoiled.
Thank you, Lord, that I live in a nation that the Word can freely be taught. Thank you, Lord, that I live in a city where I have countless opportunities to hear – live – anointed preachers of God. Forgive me, Lord, that I have taken this all for granted. May I be quick to drop the things of this world (and my flesh) and ride hard after the things of God.
How about you? What are you riding hard after?
A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog.
Play the Tapes to the End
It often looks much greener on the other side of the fence. Don’t allow yourself to look through rose colored glasses. If you’re struggling with the desire to leave your husband, take a long, hard look at what that really looks like. The enemy is the master of lies. Would life really be easier? Are you sure that you really want to be single? What do children of divorced parents really feel? Are you so sure that your marriage is the one thing that is impossible for God?
Can You Stay for Today?
Spending your time looking at the next 5 years or the rest of your life in a difficult marriage can make you run the other way. The Lord tells us not to worry about tomorrow because it has enough worries of its own. He wants us to live in today. Tomorrow is filled with what if’s. These things are not true yet and chances are they will never become reality. As you sit with the Lord and listen to His leading for the day, ask yourself, by the grace of God can you stay and do the right thing for today… Deuteronomy 30:11 says, “Now what I’m commanding today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.” You are not trapped. You can always choose differently tomorrow though I am confident that the Lord will amaze you with His grace as you choose obedience today.
Don’t Let Anything Keep You From Quiet Time with the Lord
There is no way to live as a godly life apart from the Lord. You need to hear how deeply He loves you. You need to express your love for Him. You need His Wisdom. You need His Counselor. You need everything that He’s got and willingly extending to you. He IS your peace. He is your Shield. He is the Truth and the Way. He’s freedom and He’s your Deliverer! Occasional moments grabbed throughout the day will never reveal the God that you need to know. He is your very Life! Large chunks of devoted time early in the morning are your recharging. Take the Lord at His Word. “Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:11) “Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.” (Isaiah 41:10)
If you have little children, get up earlier than them. I know of a woman who had her quiet time in the middle of the night and then went back to bed. Yes, rest is important but the Lord will supply all of your needs, even rest, when we put Him first in all things. Try Him. Let Him prove it to you.
Ensure that you are reading God’s Word and not just about God’s Word. There are many useful tools and resources out there but they need to be supplements to a healthy diet of the Word of God. Ask Him to “Open your eyes to see wondrous things in His law.” He will not disappoint you!
The Lord knows that what He asks of us is not always easy. Sometimes, it may feel like it’s never easy but He is the Rewarder of those who earnestly seek Him. I can testify to a God who is WAY bigger than I ever knew – and I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg! I can testify that I have come to know the Creator God for He created love where there was none left. He truly healed my broken heart and has made beauty where there was only ashes. For that I am eternally grateful!
A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog.
Become Your Husband’s Cheerleader
I’m confident that somewhere inside every man is a doubt or anxiety of “can I really do this?” Be a good husband, provide for a family, be a good lover. Become his cheerleader. Make a conscious point of looking for things that you can praise him for. I understand that at first, it may take some looking. We are in the habit of seeing the bad. Genuinely thank him for every good thing you see. Tell him that he’s doing a good job of … I have been stunned by how much my husband has appreciated this. These are pleasant words that are sweet to the soul and bring healing to his bones like Proverbs 16:24 talks about.
Allow Yourself to Be Dependent on Your Husband
Depending on how badly you’ve been hurt, this can be very difficult. Even if you’ve never said it consciously, our tendency is to build walls so that we won’t be hurt again. 1 Peter 3:1 tells us to “be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them]…” Chances are you rebel against things that you would consider bad decisions on their part. The enemy tells us not to let ourselves “go down” with that sinking ship. A friend of mine taught me to say, “whatever you think is best, dear.” Rather than argue your side, if, after simply and calmly stating your opinion, you are of differing minds, winsomely say “whatever you think is best.” Be mindful not to be patronizing. Your husband will know the difference.
It is safe for you to submit to your husband even if you are positive that he is making the wrong decision because Jesus is the Lord of lords. You are not responsible for your husband’s decision but you are responsible for your response to him. That same wise friend reminded me that submission only occurs when we disagree. If I’m not of a differing mind, it’s called agreement. Submission is difficult and it goes against everything the world (and our unbelieving friends) tell us but it is richly rewarded by our Heavenly Father. It is even safe for you to submit to an unbelieving husband or one that is not walking with the Lord as long as what he asks of you is not immoral or illegal. That same verse in 1 Peter 3 continues to say “so that even if any (husbands) do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives.” I had to quit preaching and arguing my point and start living out my role as God intended.
We are to live as godly wives in “like manner” to how Jesus conducted Himself. “When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no threats [of vengeance]; but He trusted [Himself and everything] to Him Who judges fairly.” 1 Peter 2:23. Trust yourself to the One Who is faithful!
A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog.
Make an 80/20 List – or a 60/40!
Make a list of things that attracted you to your husband in the first place. Make a list of good qualities that he has exhibited. Everyone has them. In fact, I believe we do have more good qualities than bad. It’s just easier to see the things we wish were different. Keep the list handy! Mine is in the back of my Bible and I purposely added to it whenever something would come to mind. Review the list often and thank the Lord for each quality.
Make Some Things Right, Seek Forgiveness
Perhaps your parents didn’t bless your marriage or you were engaging in pre-marital sex. Seek forgiveness. You can seek forgiveness for not honoring your parents or seek forgiveness from your husband for not waiting to have sex with the Lord’s blessing. These things are not easy nor do many people think they are necessary but once they’ve been dealt with Biblically, when the enemy throws out lies like “you should have listened to your mother” you can stand on the Truth of no condemnation!
Learn the Lesson “But if Not…”
I have found that in every major lesson life change/lesson that the Lord has taken me through there has come a point where I had to come to grips with the fact “but if not…” I’m still going to choose to follow the Lord in obedience. When I struggled with infertility and thought that the Lord was robbing me of a blessing, I had to come to the point where if He never gave me children, He was still Good. When my father was dying of cancer, if the Lord never healed him, He was still Good. If your husband never changes, God is still Good and it is the right thing to walk out your life in obedience. The other thing that I’ve found is that God is so gracious and generous!! He rewards our feeble steps in His direction!
My grandfather always used to say that if the Lord never did anything else for him but save his soul, it was worth serving Him forever. It’s the truth!
A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog.
Everyone Needs a Day 17
Ruth Myers, in her book “31 Days of Praise” has written an awesome scripture prayer about being thankful for the place in life that we are currently in. The whole book is about praising the Lord when things are difficult. It’s put out by Multnomah and is worth purchasing for anyone – crisis or not.
Surround Yourself with Positive Accountability Partners and Prayer Warriors
If you are like me, it is easy to see the negative side of situations. You need people who will help you to see the positives. I needed someone who would stop me in mid-conversation if I was about to rant and complain about my husband. My friend would simply say, “have you taken this to the Throne?” or “have you tattled to Jesus?” Your friends and family don’t need to know all of the details. Whatever you spend the most time concentrating on is what is going to grow bigger. Surround yourself with friends that will say, “remember when…” and remind you of those good things that your husband has done. You may need to make a list. It makes it easier to remember when you aren’t seeing those qualities in the moment! If your friends aren’t currently operating in this way – ask them to! Tell them that it is what you need from them. It really is what you need from them. A word of caution – your accountability partners MUST not be of the opposite sex! That’s never appropriate and can lead down paths of destruction.
A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog.
Pray Less For Your Husband and More for Yourself
This may sound totally selfish and inappropriate but sometimes, when a relationship is strained, it’s difficult to pray for your spouse without giving the Lord a long prescription of everything that you’d like to see changed in your spouse. Praying for your spouse can easily become a complaining session with the Lord and since the Lord knows better than us what is going on and what needs to be done, prayer sessions like that serve only to discourage us and remind us of everything that is frustrating or hurtful.
In a great little book “Get the Junk Out of Your Trunk: Let Go of the Past to Live Your Best Life” (by Duane Vander Klok) I learned that when we need to forgive someone who has hurt us, we need to pray blessing over their lives – with NO prescription! When we are praying blessing and not telling the Lord how He should do it, we are brought to the point of forgiveness and wanting to see good things happen in their lives rather than retribution.
Prayer is something everyone says and even assumes but we do entirely too little of it and even less effectively. God’s Word is sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). Praying His Word, convicts us where we’ve fallen short. When we come into agreement with what He says and repent, it accomplishes His purposes within us (Isaiah 55:11). Our lives (and marriages) will be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2).
Some great scriptures to pray daily for yourself are:
• 1 Corinthians 13:1-7, 12-13
• 1 Peter 2:18-25 (like the term or not, as married women we are “household servants” and we are the only one in our home with that job description)
• 1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-9
• Proverbs 16:24
I liked the way these verses were worded in the Amplified Bible. It put some teeth to some of the words that were either too familiar or vague. I prayed these daily for many months. The words became ingrained in my mind and the Spirit would call them to mind – often – when I would be tempted to insist on my own rights or add something to a mental tally sheet of what my husband was doing “wrong” (1 Cor. 13:5).
I printed my prayers out on recipe cards and keep them in a photo album that fits into my purse. I recorded audios of them and put them on my I-pod. Keep them handy and commit to doing what they say. It’s not enough to just read them or highlight them and visit them occasionally. You must do what it says (James 1:22).
For those of you who do not know me, I am the consummate planner! Making to-do lists is a joy to me which is only surpassed by checking off a completed task on these lists. As LifeHouse moves forward into its third decade of ministry, there is not a specific plan to follow or clear action steps to take. There is not a book at Barnes and Noble entitled “Running Maternity Homes for Dummies!” I am definitely in a place where I must constantly be on my knees asking God for directions. Can anyone else relate?
What I continue to hear from Him is, “Just do the next right thing.” One step, one decision, one day at a time. I believe this is not just a word for me but a word for the residents that live at LifeHouse. Just do the next right thing.
Through the teaching of our Houseparents, the advice of our professional counselor and much prayer, the teens and young women of LifeHouse will realize what is the next right step. Proverbs 4:18 says, “…the path of the just and righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines more and more (brighter and clearer) until…the perfect day.” (Amp.) As I take the next right step… as the residents take the next right step, the path becomes clearer and clearer. Of course the opposite is true also. If we do not stay on the path of justice and righteousness, the path becomes darker and darker.
Would you please pray for all of us to remain on the path of Truth? Would you pray that together we can do the next right thing?
May you, too, do the next right thing.
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