Last Man Standing
/Failure is only final if we quit. Keep on!! Persevere!! This is the testing of our faith.
Because It Matters - Mental
/Barbara Wilson shares on how our brain can be trained.
Because It Matters - Physical
/Vicki Heath, CEO of First Place for Health, discusses how to improve your body as you look at your holistic self.
Put Your Oxygen Mask on First
/Even though I have not stepped onto a plane in almost 7 weeks (a record for me since 2010), I could almost give you the word for word announcement of the flight attendant as we taxi away from the gate.
You know…tray tables up, seat beats buckled, seats in the upright and locked position, etc. But the announcement the crew gives extra special attention to is that all passengers are to put their oxygen mask on first before assisting others.
This announcement is so important, the crew actually walks the aisles and communicates this again to all who have a child with them. Anytime I have had an unaccompanied minor beside me, the flight attendant even reminds me to do it.
Why do they emphasize this so much?
Because if a passenger is not receiving the life sustaining resource of oxygen, then she is unable to help the others around her. It is not a selfish act to secure her mask but rather one that allows her to serve even longer.
As we continue the series, Because It Matters, I want to share how we can apply this advice outside the cabin of an airplane. In this world, there is really not much we can control despite our most valiant efforts.
We can’t control the weather we can only murmur about it.
We can’t control traffic we can only avoid it.
We can’t control our adult children we can only pray for them.
We can’t control a virus we can only do our part to avoid it.
Yet, there is something or rather someone we have complete and absolute control over – ourselves. I can control myself…you can control yourself. And when we take control of our ourselves it is putting our oxygen mask on.
This week, you will look at your holistic self– your physical self, your emotional self, your mental self and your spiritual self. How are you doing in those areas?
Physically – are you getting enough exercise? Eating nutritious meals in appropriate portions? Are you sleeping enough?
Emotionally – for the most part, do you have joy? Motivated? Content?
Mentally – how are your thoughts? Are they uplifting or downers? Are you reading? Are you engaging your mind?
Spiritually – are you spending time in prayer and meditation? Are you walking closer to God? Are you exhibiting Christ like characteristics?
Rate yourself in each of these areas and then make a plan to improve your lowest rating. Don’t try to bite off too much. Focus on just that area for 90 days. Then on day 91 continue the plan of improvement with the first area and begin working on the second lowest area. Remember, how do we eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
To help you with this exercise you can download this worksheet. By making sure you are the best you can be, you will be able to serve those around you better. Keep those oxygen masks on!
Also, to help you even more, I am going to do a short 4-part experts’ series on the holistic self beginning tomorrow. Here are the experts that I will be interviewing:
Physical: Vicki Heath
Emotional: Georgia Shaffer
Mental: Barbara Wilson
Spiritual: Carol Kent
Be on the look out for these in your inbox, on my Facebook page as well as on my blog.
As always, if there is any way I can help you, please just let me know.
Squirrel!!
/What is your attention on? Is it things you can control or things out of your control? Let me know what you have your attention on.
Because It Matters
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If nothing else, this COVID-19 pandemic has shown, what really matters. As of this writing the projections are for at least a 30% unemployment, a stimulus package that our great-great grandchildren will be paying off and hundreds of businesses both small and large shutting down because they could not survive the weeks of no business.
Why do all this to our economy? Because social distancing and sheltering in place will prevent the spread of the virus.
Why does that matter? Because the prevention of the spreading of the virus will mean less people infected by the virus.
Why does that matter? Because less people being infected means fewer people needing hospitalization.
Why does that matter? Because fewer people being hospitalized means more people will be able to have access to ventilators.
Why does that matter? Because more people able to access ventilators will mean more people will be able to recover from the virus.
Why does that matter? Because it saves lives.
So let’s go back to high school algebra, if A=B and B=C than A=C, right? So, doing such “damage” to our economy matters because it saves lives and therefore lives matter more than our economy.
One day we will be out of this pandemic. One day we will be able to hug our friends and extended family members. One day we will get back on planes and shake hands and worship in our church buildings.
When that time comes, will we remember what really matters? Will our priorities get out of whack again? Will we once again be driven by the temporary and not the eternal?
My passion is to make sure that does not happen to me or others around me. My desire is to help people especially women live out what matters to them. Hopefully, during this time, many of us have gained clarity in what matters. If not, before this is all over, maybe take some time to do that. If you do have clarity about what matters to you, begin working on a plan to make sure that when life gets back to “normal” you keep the main thing the main thing.
For many, this clarity exercise and plan development is challenging so that is why over the next few weeks, I am going to take time each day to speak into that. I am going to provide tips and questions to help you make sure you do not go back to status quo. That the things that matter most to you, continue to receive your best after this pandemic.
In the Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley says, “Direction – not intentions – determines our destination.” Here are some examples:
o A man says, “I desire to have a great marriage”…yet when he is with his wife he is on his phone.
o A middle age businesswoman says, “I desire to be financially secure at retirement” yet lives above her means today.
o A young dad says, “I want to be around for my grandchildren’s wedding”…yet spends no time exercising and overeats.
o A college coed says, “I want to have a deep spiritual walk with the Lord”…yet spends each morning reading the latest blog posts.
o A young woman says, “I want my husband to love the Lord with all his heart” …yet dates any guy that asks her out because he is cute.
o A mom of teens says, “I want my children to have deep relationships with Christian friends” …yet doesn’t take the time for church during the week or on weekends.
They all had great intentions and for many deep desires but their actions did not reflect their intentions. When are actions are incongruent with our desires, we live lives of quiet desperation that will only be relieved when our actions match up to our desires.
I have created a worksheet that will help you begin to find clarity in your calling and help identify where you might have any inconsistencies. If you would like to download that worksheet, just go to this website. As always, if there is any way I can help you, please be in touch.
Re-post from Hebron Church’s Women’s Ministry
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Not Unprecedent to God
During these unprecedented times we are experiencing….wait, are they really unprecedented? The online dictionary says that unprecedent means that it has not happened in the past…. But this has happened in the past.
There was the Spanish flu in 1918, Influenza in 1889, Cholera pandemic in 1852 and the deadliest the Bubonic Plague in the 1300’s. What makes this unprecedented is not COVID-19 but that we have had to stop. We are having to be still. We are having to learn to do life in a different way.
We do not have calendars filled with activities or practices or church services. We cannot fill our days with gym workouts, work relationships or outings to the movies. For the first time in many of our lives, all we have are our four walls and our immediate family.
Because of that, many families are getting back to the basics. Reminds me of what Vince Lombardi, one of the greatest football coach of all time said after a particularly bad defeat, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” Any moms out there who had to say, “Kids, this is a dining room table and we eat meals around it. Kind of like our van but without wheels.”?
Yet, what a gift this can be. I have seen more family hikes, board games, arts and crafts projects and home-cooked meals than ever on my social media feeds. Families are reading stories together, getting house projects done and just being a family.
Please let me encourage you during this time to practice three things: gratitude, trust, and peace. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be known to God.” (ESV) The key to not being anxious is the thankfulness mixed into the prayer. During this pandemic, why not take a few minutes each day and write down three things you are thankful for? Then spread some of that encouragement and tell three other people and ask them what they are thankful for. This is a habit you will want to do long after we get to go to the movies again.
Another reason, we cannot be anxious comes from the verse just before verse 6. Philippians 4:5 says, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand.” (ESV) We cannot be anxious because the Lord is at hand – the NIV translates it as the Lord is near. The God of the universe…the Great I AM…the Risen Savior and soon coming King is near. He is right here with those who know Him. This Sovereign God in which nothing is unprecedented is present and we are assured in Romans that nothing can separate us from Him. Trust in Him who promises us that troubles will come but we are to take heart because He has overcome the world.
Lastly, Philippians 4:7 has an amazing promise. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (ESV) Peace is not something we work up. It is not something we can strive for and achieve. But rather it is the fruit of the Holy Spirit and a byproduct of prayer and gratitude. The key to this is being still (Psalm 46:10.) In the original Hebrew, still from Psalm 46:10 means to relax, refrain and even to withdraw. Now that our bodies need to be still, the next step is to help our minds be still. Be sure to take time each day and quiet your mind. Even if it is for 10 minutes while in the bathroom. Below are three verses that you can meditate on during this time.
· When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalms 56:3-ESV)
· Fear not, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10-ESV)
· For God give us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7-ESV)
As we all operate in gratitude, trust, and peace, Christ will be glorified and we will come out of this unprecedented time transformed. Let’s take full advantage of this gift that has been given to us.
What are your essentials?
/Had this quoted scheduled LONG before COVID-19 but isn't its timing perfect?
Focus on the Should’s that Give Life
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Yesterday was Palm Sunday…and what a different way to celebrate Jesus’ triumphant entry. It should have been celebrated with lots of brothers and sisters in Christ. It should have been celebrated with children walking down the center aisle of the church waving palm branches and shouting, “Hosanna!” And this should have had the most church gatherings in the calendar year as many gathers for Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday services. It should have…but it’s not.
And this so grieves me. This loss of fellowship…this loss of connecting together…this loss of celebrating as a faith family…this loss of remembering as a body the work of Christ. My heart is saddened and it is ok – and really healthy – to admit that.
Yet, I do not want to stay there. I do not want to stay in the “shoulds” of life that are draining and totally out of my control.
I should be married by now.
I should have children by now.
I should have grandchildren by now.
I should weigh 150 pounds by now (ok, I might have a bit more control over this one. )
If I am going to spend anytime in the should of life, I want to focus on the ones that are life giving and in my control.
I should be dead if not for the grace of God.
I should be an emotional basket case if not for the transforming power of the Word of God.
I should be lonesome if not for the amazing love of those around me.
I should be in debt if not for the teaching of wise people.
I should be creating content for future blogs.
I should be reaching out to those who are shut-in.
I should be praying for my lost friends.
I should be trusting more.
There it is!! The last one…trusting more in the sovereignty and assurance of God. Romans 8:24-28 says, “For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
And what is that purpose…to be conformed into the image of Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29).
So today, grieve what is lost and what this pandemic is doing to our lives but also turn quickly to the “shoulds” that give life and that you can do something about.
Perfection is Stagnation
/Formula 409 was called 409 because formulas 1 through 408 failed.
Filter Your Tongue (and Your Posts)
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This morning I was pouring the last cup of coffee and noticed a lot of grounds in the bottom of the coffee pot. When I opened up the coffee maker basket, the filter had pulled away from the side of the basket and there were grounds all along the side and on the bottom. The filter was there but it did no good if it did not cover the entire basket.
While listening to a sermon, I realized that I have a filter that I am not using and it is causing “grounds” to get into places I don’t want. The message was from James and the point was how to tame the tongue.
At the end he listed seven taming practices that I have started using to filter both what I say but also what I post:
1. Be slow to speak. (James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...)
2. Do not make empty promises. (James 2:16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?)
3. Do not curse. (James 3:10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.)
4. Do not criticize. (James 4:11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.)
5. Do not boast about future plans. (James 4:13-15 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”)
6. Say what you mean and mean what you say. (James 5:12 Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.)
7. Admit your faults. (James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.)
I am not going to say that I will always do this (see #2 above) but I am going to make it my goal to strive to apply this filter a bit more and tame my tongue.
Be a Prophet
/Goals are dreams with plans attached to it.
Dream…plan…execute!
What Do You Know?
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Recently as I was reading I John 5 (NIV), the word know seemed to pop out of the page. Again and again the Apostle John under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit repeats this word. So, I did a bit of research using Blue Letter Bible, on that little word.
In all occasions except one, John uses the Greek word eido. Only in verse 2 does he use the Greek word ginosko. Here are the definitions per the Blue Letter Bible:
GINOSKO: to learn to know, come to know, get a knowledge of, perceive
EIDO: to see; to perceive with the eyes
Here are the six instances that stood out to me.
How do we know that we love the children of God?(GINOSKO)
v. 2 This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out His commands.
How do we know we have eternal life? (EIDO)
v. 13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.
How do we know we have what we ask of Him? (EIDO)
v. 15 And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.
What do we know about one who continues to sin? (EIDO)
v. 18 We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them.
Do you know that you are a child of God? (EIDO)
v. 19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.
Do you know Him who is true? (EIDO)
v. 20 We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know Him who is true. And we are in Him who is true by being in His Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.
In this world of so much uncertainty, I am comforted by the fact that I can KNOW a few things. I might not know what the stock market will do tomorrow, if this novel coronavirus is going to impact my mission trip in a week or if the rain will ever stop in Georgia.
But I can know that I have eternal life.
I can know that God hears my prayers.
I can know Him who is true.
I can know I am a child of God.
I can know about the one who continues in sin.
I can know if I love the children of God.
What do you know today?
What are you certain of?
What have you seen?
What have you perceived with your eyes?
Let’s focus on those things and leave the uncertainties…the unknowns to the All-Knowing God.
Plan It!
/Wishful thinking or intentional action?
Captured Time
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Being the planner that I am, I will regularly do an overview of my calendar and see what I have coming up in the next week or month. At the end of February, I looked at several months and realized I had overbooked myself. (I said I was a planner yet not necessary a good one.)
I had a two-day meeting in Dallas, TX…a mission trip to Uganda with a long weekend in Kenya….a bunch of high school baseball games and tennis matches…another meeting in Dallas…a trip to Houston…a couple of speaking engagements and more. As I sent my prayer letter to my prayer team and listed this all out, I was a bit overwhelmed.
Well, because of the COVID-19 pandemic, I sure don’t have that problem anymore! Not all of the above has canceled but a big chunk has and now my calendar is much clearer. So what am I going to do with that time? (See the planner in me still coming out.)
There are three areas I will focus on:
· Content Creation This free time will allow me to write more and develop content for blogs, courses as well as speaking. I have already scheduled 3 hours each day (M-F) to focus on this.
· Knowledge Increase John F. Kennedy said, “Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” In my evening hours, instead of sitting in the stands cheering on the nephews, I am going to read. I have pulled out four books to read to help me….
1. nurture relationships better by asking questions
2. develop contentment by trusting
3. deepen my dependence by enduring
4. cultivate joy by laughing
· Physical Health This area has really been a struggle for me this year. Exercise has not been anywhere on my to-do list and my eating is a bit out of control. So I am taking the time to do what I know to be right in this area and getting back on track.
What about you? How are you going to take advantage of this “captured” time?
How's your face?
/I am a strong woman. There is no getting around it. I know that there are times that I am intimidating and (dare I say) loud and sometimes come across as pushy and demanding.
In my 20’s and 30’s I really fought against this and so wanted to be different. To meek. To be mild-mannered. To be gentle. I did not like the skin I was in (and, to be honest, I am not sure if many folks around me liked it either.) But in myself, I could not be different. I couldn’t change. I couldn’t stop being my selfish, rebellious, strong-willed woman.
That all changed in 1992 when I came to the end of myself and cried out to God. I bowed my knees to the one true God and received Him as my Lord and Savior and the gift of His Spirit living in me. Now, because of this, I have the supernatural power to say no to unrighteousness and yes to righteousness. Oh, it was definitely not an overnight transformation – just ask my friends and mentors at the time. But it was a process…it was movement…it was going from glory to glory.
The biggest recognition of this movement happened after I had lived in Houston for a couple of years. I had returned to Atlanta for the holidays or a baseball game and several people commented, “Becky, you just seem softer.” It was not a new hairstyle, weight loss or better make up (even though some of those things happened) but it was my very countenance. The Lord literally changed me from the inside out.
Proverbs 4:9 says, “It will give you a graceful garland for your head. It will hand you a beautiful crown.” The “it” in this verse is wisdom. I read that to mean that as we get wiser in the Lord, it will be reflected in our outward appearance. I know quite a few wise women in the faith who are in their 70s and 80s and to see them you would say, “No way!” On the other hand, I have seen lots of women in their 40s and 50s who look like they are in their 70s and 80s. What’s the difference? Maturity in the Lord
Now am I still a strong woman? For sure! But I pray it is tempered by the Holy Spirit and much more grace and mercy flows out of me than ever before.
This quote by Millie Leung really spoke to me, “A strong woman believes that she is strong enough to face her journey, and a woman of faith believes that it is in her journey that she becomes strong.” Before Christ, I thought I was strong enough but in 27+ years of doing this, I realized that in my weakness He is strong and that is what I want above all else.
What about you? Are you strong the Lord or in your own strength? How is your countenance? It reflects your heart…is it reflecting what you want?
Book It!
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Greatest Tool for Personal Growth
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A habit that I have been using in my life for many years is a weekly preview. All it takes is 5 minutes to look at next week’s calendar and see what is on the schedule. One Friday afternoon I was especially thrilled because the next week was full of appointments. It was such a relief not because I did not have to bust it on Monday to book some but because my sales manager was riding with me that week.
Or how about the time, I ate healthy for 30 days in a row because I was in a First Place for Health class and had to get on the scale weekly. We could also look back when I didn’t eat out for a month because I had told someone that I needed to get back on track with my budget and this was the quickest way.
What is common in all of these scenarios? Accountability. People have told me, “Becky, you are so disciplined.” I may be a bit more disciplined than others but I am who I am today because of accountability. It is a double edged sword for me…I hate it and I love it! As I often say, I would be fat and poor if not for accountability.
The online dictionary describes accountability as the act of taking responsibility for one’s actions. It is walking the talk. Doing what you say. Or as this quote says, “Hypocrisy exists in the space between language and action.”
There are three keys to accountability:
#1: Resolve
#2: True friendships (or money)
#3: Being vulnerable with others
Let’s look at each of this. First, resolved or determined. If you are wishy-washy about your desires, your intentions, your life, it will be hard to use accountability to grow. You need to know what you want to achieve whether it is to make more money or know God deeper or be healthier or develop meaningful relationships. Jesus set His face like flint (Isaiah 50:6-7.) He was resolved to accomplish His task. (Luke 9:51) What are you resolved to do? If you have not evaluated your life and determined what you want, accountability will not work for you.
Once you are resolved, the next step is to ask a true friend to hold you accountable. According to Proverbs, the wounds of a friend are better than the kisses of an enemy. For accountability to work in your life, you need to have a friend(s) who cares about you enough to hold you accountable. To not be afraid of ruining your friendship because they tell you when you are missing the mark. A friend like this will also rejoice with you during your successes as well.
Having these types of friendships do not happen overnight. These are friends you can share huge victories with and they won’t think you are egotistical. They can also tell you the truth in love. They are ones who can make you so mad but once you cool off you know that you can trust what they are saying. And they are not saying it to harm but to help.
Of course, you can also pay for this accountability. Hire a life coach to ask you the tough questions. (By the way, a good life coach can also help you determine what you need to be resolved about.) Or a trainer to work you out each week. Or financial planner to assist you in focusing on a budget. Or a family therapist to hold you accountable on your relationships. In my case, I needed both! Paid professionals have helped me in so many areas but for me I am most motivated when one of my friends is an accountability partner.
Lastly, you need to be vulnerable. As someone who is an 8 on the Enneagram, this was difficult for me at first but I quickly learned that accountability is worthless if I am not real and authentic. If you do not tell both your struggles as well as your desires to your accountability partner, there is no need to take the time to meet. You must be remove all masks and be honest and open.
Accountability should not be viewed as a punishment – it is not punitive – but rather see it as a fulcrum (think lever or see-saw.) A fulcrum is that thing (i.e. rock, block, shelf) which makes leverage possible. If you want to get to the next level in your life, you can either crawl and scrap up the wall or you can use a lever to catapult yourself to that place. Accountability is that and it is the key to personal growth. Are you willing to do what it takes?
