For the most part, about 90% of the time, I am completely content in my singleness. I truly view singleness as a gift and enjoy it! However, those 10% times when I am not content, my mind wanders through the reasons why I would love to be married. I would love to be married because when done right it is just a great example of Christ and His bride, the church. I would love to be married because of the companionship that it would provide. I would love to be married because decision-making by myself can be so hard. It is at these times that I remind myself of the three Truths that help me gain perspective. The first truth is that if I am married my focus is divided and instead of just focusing on pleasing the Lord, my focus is on pleasing my husband. Paul says in I Corinthians 7:32-35, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.”
Paul is not saying that it is wrong but that is just the way it is. Once I marry, if I want to please my Lord, I please my husband because my husband has become my number one ministry. As a wife, my calling is to be my husband’s helpmeet…his helper…his mission becomes my mission.
This does not mean that I don’t ever do “godly” things. That doesn’t mean I am not serving the Lord outside the home. Obviously my relationship with the Lord is still primary but how it is manifested in my life most often is in serving my husband. But being married will cause distraction in my life. As a single woman, I am not distracted at all. I am free to move to Africa and minister or stay in Houston and serve in my church’s women’s ministry. I can pack my bags and move back to Atlanta, live in a friend’s basement and write my book or I can flip burgers at McDonald’s and write my book in Houston. I am free to go or stay as the Lord instructs.
This also applies to the day-to-day things as well. If I want to purchase something, I go and buy it. I don’t have to check with anyone. If I want to go away for the weekend, I do not have to look on his calendar to see if we are free. I can just do it. Cereal for dinner—fine. Movie on Saturday afternoon—no problem.
When I get a little restless and desiring to be married, this first truth helps me to get my perspective back on track. I remember that as a single, my only focus is the Lord and I am not distracted by the concerns of the world. On Wednesday, I will share the 2nd Truth that helps me to gain perspective.