Do You Have a Nathan?

Accountability is one of those areas in my life that I have a huge love-hate relationship.  As a sales person and as a development director, reporting my “numbers” (i.e. calls made, appointments held, sales closed or money raised) seemed like such a hassle but when I did not have to report I always did worse than when I did report.  Accountability – it can be a burden but it makes me a better person.

In my spiritual life, I also need accountability.  Folks that I know will ask me the tough questions and will not be afraid to confront me if they have discerned that I might be off course.   They are not my Holy Spirit nor are they the righteousness police just looking for a chance to nail me.  First and foremost, they are friends who love me with an agape love.  They are looking out for my best interest.  They are also men and women whom I have given the right to hold me accountable.  I trust them and desire them to speak into my life.  I am a better person because of their influence in my life and for that I am eternally grateful.

The psalmist David had accountability in his life in the form of a prophet named Nathan.  Nathan helped David process through big decisions (see 2 Samuel 7 as David contemplates building the temple for God.)  Nathan rebuked David when he had committed grievous sins (see 2 Samuel 12 concerning his sins against Bathsheba and Uriah.)  Lastly, Nathan gently reminds David of his promises (see 1 Kings 1 as David makes Solomon king.)

Nathan traveled with David throughout his life and both encouraged and confronted this giant killer.  What about you?  Do you have a Nathan in your life?  If so, how has your Nathan made you a better person?

How TMPW Impacted My Life - Part 4

As I shared in my earlier blogs, TMPW has impacted my life in profound ways but the last way I want to share is really the coolest way. As an Activator (see earlier blog), dreaming is challenging to me because I don't daydream, I just do it as soon as I think it. However, TMPW forced me to get in that settled place and make a list of dreams.  What is so amazing about making a list is that things on the list just start to happen.  I believe there are two reasons for this...the power of the mind and the awesomeness of God.  When we write things down, our mind begins working on it - even if it is subconscious.  I also believe that when God sees us write it down He believes us and begins making things happen to accomplish it.  He wants to give us the desires of our heart when we are fixed on Him. Through the exercise I also began dreaming beyond myself.  Because of my self-reliance and independence (read "pride" here), I struggle to dream beyond my capabilities.  By using the tools given to me by TMPW I can dream on a whole different level and I so look forward to the amazing things the Dream Master will do in my life in the next 12 months, 3 years, decade.

Come start discovering your dreams!  First meeting is this week!!  Please contact me to let me know if you would like to come or have any further questions.

How TMPW Impacted My Life - Part 3

Earlier I shared of two ways in which the TMPW impacted my life – living intentionally and the process of change.  Today I want to share a fantastic blessing of being a part of TMPW – the books we received.  As an avid reader (thanks, mom, for instilling that in me), this component was especially meaningful. Of all the 30+ books we receive, by far, the one book that had the greatest influence on me was Strengths Finder 2.0. It was so impactful that I gave about 30 of these books away as Christmas gifts in 2009. My top strengths were Achiever, Activator, Strategic, Communication and Discipline.  They all fit me to a tee and others agreed.  It was so influential because it gave me clarity on the skills that the Lord had created in me.  I was better able to understand myself and why I make a to-do list on vacation and why I can be impatient at inactivity.  I cannot use these as excuses to ignore the Spirit of God in me or the Biblical commands He has given us, but they have helped me know exactly what my role is in His Kingdom.

Another area of growth for me has to be the Sabbath.  As an achiever and activator, rest is hard for me.  But as I learned through TMPW as well as reading The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan, if I want to restore my soul then I have to rest.  I also learned that Sabbath does not mean that I am sitting around doing nothing.  I might be taking a lesson at the Apple store or getting a massage.  I actually signed up as a monthly member of Massage Envy to "force" myself to rest.  Now, I am not perfect in this area by any means but by practicing a regular Sabbath these past three years, I know that resting in Him during a significant transition in my life in the Spring of 2010 was possible.

Would so love to have you join me on July 1^st for the introductory meeting!  Please contact me to let me know if you would like to come or have any further questions.

How TMPW Impacted My Life - Part 2

In my earlier post, I began sharing how TMPWhas significantly impacted my life.  Today I want to share another teaching that I think about on almost a daily basis, The process of change. Here are the four steps:

Step 1:  Unconscious incompetence.

Step 2:  Conscious incompetence.

Step 3:  Conscious competence.

Step 4:  Unconscious competence.

It made such sense to me and I began asking myself how do I move – and how do others move – from Step 2 to Step 3? Often, I would  know that I was failing in an area but I would not take the initiative to get better.  Unfortunately, the only thing that moves me – and I believe most people – is pain.  When the pain gets greater than the ignorance, we are willing to move.  So when pain comes in my life, whether it is physical, emotional, mental or spiritual – the first question I ask myself is “Is there an area in my life where I am ignoring what I know to be true?”  The longer I wait before making the change the greater the pain.  This was big motivation to make changes in my life.

It has become a goal of mine to change before the pain gets too great.  When I recognize or am told of an area that I need to work on, I try to go ahead and jump on it so that the pain does not have to increase.  It has also allows me to free others that may be doing things, as I see it, wrong.  When the pain gets great enough in them they will change.  (Of course, I have to remind myself, often, that God is usually NOT calling me to be the source of pain for them.)

Come be a part of the wonderful TMPW experience!  First meeting is just around the corner.  Please contact me to let me know if you would like to come or have any further questions.  Plan on being a part of experiencing The Master’s Program for Women up close and personal.  You might learn how to avoid some pain!

How TMPW Impacted My Life - Part 1

As many of you know from my posts and in my blogs, I am pretty pumped about teaching The Master’s Program for Women (TMPW)!  Why am I so excited about teaching it?  I am thrilled because TMPW changed my life and when something that powerful impacts me I not only want to tell others but come alongside and help them experience the impact of living an intentional life.  Which leads right into the very first example of how it changed my life…. In the very first session of the three year course, there is a teaching from Ephesians 5:15, 16 that says, "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil." (KJV)  The keyword to me is circumspectly - coming from the same root as circumference.  So I began having a 360-degree look at my life.  How was I doing in all the realms of my life (Personal, Influence and Kingdom)?  It really prompted me to live diligently and intentionally.   I am not one to be loosy-goosy but this really pushed me over the edge to be mindful of every moment of every day.

Over the next week or so I will share three more specific examples of the life-changing impact TMPW had on my life.  Please plan on joining me at the next session - it is starting in just a few weeks!!  The introductory meeting will be July 1st from 3 pm – 8 pm at a friend’s home, which is located not far from Beltway 8 and Memorial Drive.  Please contact me to let me know if you would like to come or have any further questions.  Dinner will be served so plan on being a part of experiencing The Master’s Program for Women up close and personal.  You will be blessed!

Update on the Great Adventure

If you read my earlier post, you know that I am on a great adventure!! Since resigning from LifeHouse of Houston in February, the Lord has continued to led me on an amazing walk and through it all He has shown Himself, once again, so faithful.  God continues to reveal confirmation after confirmation to not get a “real” job but to do my own consulting and coaching business.   God has demonstrated this to me in a really cool way – almost like a postcard in the mail – people have called (and continue to call) asking me to work with them.  To date, all of my engagements have been prompted by my clients.  How much clearer does He need to be? One of my clients, The Master’s Program for Women (TMP), is a unique three-year program of life-designing and coaching that encourages women to discover and pursue God's plans for their lives.  It has been developed to answer their deepest questions as well as help them gain a new understanding of their Kingdom Calling – that one thing that God created only THEM to do for His Kingdom.  TMP focuses on one’s ability to manage the foremost issues in their life, including their faith, family, career, relationships and the varied opportunities to serve.

I went through TMP as a participant beginning in 2006 and as I applied the tools I gained in the program, I became more balanced in my life.  I experienced increased margin in my day to day living and gained a clearer focus of God’s calling on my life.  I believe that these last five months would have turned out totally different if not for the coaching and knowledge I received through TMP!!

The time commitment is only a 5-hour class once a quarter that will include lectures, small group activities as well as fellowship over a meal.  The same group of ladies stays together throughout the three-year time period and has a great opportunity to experience community.  The “homework” each quarter can be a couple of hours or several days just depending on what peaks her interest.  On a quarterly basis, I will also meet one on one with the participants to give personalized coaching on her greatest area of need.

The first class is starting in just a few weeks on July 1st!!  And so, the adventure continues….

I Love Seamlessness!!

It is amazing what we can do today with the advances in technology!!  The "Living Out Loud Intentionally" blogradio interview I did the last Wednesday in 2009 is a perfect example of that.  I was sitting in a Suburban in a shopping mall parking lot in Buford, Georgia using my cell phone (I was suppose to be on a LAN line so don't tell the shows producers.)  Meanwhile, Dr. Carolyn was in Houston, TX uploading this live interview to the world wide web.  Click here to hear the interview. The most amazing part of the whole thing is the seamlessness of it all.  It was as if Dr. Carolyn and I were sitting across from one another; both to us and the listeners.  Yet, we were hundreds of miles apart!!  Because of the seamlessness of syncing my iPhone calendars, contacts and tasks I switched to a Mac platform.  Now I can schedule an appointment or save a phone number and never worry about remembering to plug in my phone to my computer.  It happens automatically!  Oh, for all of my life to be as seamless!

What are some of the things you do to make your life more seamless?

Getting It Done Intentionally! Part 2

Earlier, I shared about how to set up your values which will drive your goals.  Once values are laid out then you set up goals that will make those things happen. Using the examples the previous post – your husband might be like a friend’s husband and want his dinner on the table when he comes home from work so your goal is to have a home cooked meal prepared by 6 pm. Being cheerful - memorize an appropriate Scripture each week; always speak kind words to cashiers; etc. Being fit - lose 10 pounds; walk 4 times a week; etc. Then you take your goals and drill them down into daily activities. Again using the above goals - go grocery shopping on Thursday; plan your weekly meals on Wednesday; be home at 4 o'clock each day; etc. By having the plan based on values, the mundane and monotonous things we do in life suddenly have value. There is a sense of urgency about what we are doing.

I would suggest that you take just one value - Christ-follower; husband; father; wife; mother; volunteer; etc. - and work on that one for a month or two than add another value, goal and daily tasks.

How do you know which one to start with? Ask yourself where you have the most “pain” – emotionally, mentally, spiritually or physically. Since I minister mostly to woman I can tell you that 99 times out of a 100 married women need to start with being a wife. As long as being a Christ follower is pretty solid the next step will be there. Even if you have an over the top marriage, there are always things you can do to make it better. Do that then move on to the next step.

For me the biggest challenge is to work the plan after I have planned the work. This is a great verse to motivate you on the path…

And in this matter I give my judgment: this benefits you, who a year ago started not only to do this work but also to desire to do it. So now finish doing it as well, so that your readiness in desiring it may be matched by your completing it out of what you have. For if the readiness is there, it is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. 2 Corinthians 8:10-12 (English Standard Version)

May we all finish well in the end by finishing well each day!

Getting It Done Intentionally! Part 1

Several have asked how I set my goals and plans so I thought I would share with you how I do it. First, you begin with what your values are... what matters most in your life... what you want people to say about you at your funeral... what you are willing to die for. For example a value might be to be an I Peter 3 wife or to love your wife as Christ loves the church or to be cheerful or to be physically fit. Here is my mission and values: Mission: Because of the love of Christ, my mission is to see the Kingdom of God advanced especially in the areas of personal financial giving and discipleship by using my gifts of communication and leadership skills.

Value #1: I love Christ – I spend quality one on one time with Christ and share Him with others. (Phi. 3:8)

Value #2: I have integrity – I live a life above reproach both morally and emotionally. (Psalm 15:1, 2)

Value #3: I am cheerful – My attitude is upbeat and encouraging to others. (I Thes. 5:11)

Value #4: I seek Truth – Only true understanding will set anyone free from bondage. (John 8:32)

Value #5: I love my friends – I nurture the relationships with my family through prayer, contacting them and sharing with them. (Psalm 55:14)

Value #6: I love my family – I nurture the relationships with my family through prayer, contacting them and sharing with them. (Joshua 24:15)

Value #7: I strive for excellence – I do my best in all things so that God can be glorified. (I Cor. 10:31)

Value #8: I am financially secure – Money is a means to an end and I handle money frugally. Debt is none or a minimum. (Proverbs 31:16)

Value #9: I am an influencer – I seek to positively influence all those around me to either show them Christ or to bring them closer to His presence. (Matt. 28:19, 20)

Value #10: I am productive – My works will demonstrate my faith. (James 2:18)

Value #11: I am physically fit – I avoid bad habits (i.e. fried foods) and practice good habits in eating and physical exercise. (I Cor. 6:19, 20)

I will follow up with Part 2 of Getting It Done Intentionally on how to turn these values into Goals and Daily Task.

How I Plan My Meals

As I have mentioned before, gluttony is one of my "regular" besetting sins.  To help me in this area I have to make a plan for my meals and then execute the plan.  I begin with reviewing my calendar and determine when I will not be eating out and plug it into an excel spreadsheet.   (I usually do just two weeks at a time but since I will be out of town for a week in January I went ahead and did the month.)  Then I determine how many meals I need - this time I needed 23 breakfasts, 20 lunches and 17 dinners.

Using some old recipes as well as new recipes I then start plugging meals into the spread sheet (breakfast usually doesn't change.)  Here is my spreadsheet with a few days plugged in:

The recipes I used this time were Lime Chicken (4 servings), Easy Turkey Meatloaf (8 servings), Mexican Chicken Casserole (8 servings), Autumn Glazed Pork Chops (4 servings) and Vegetarian Chili (15 servings).  Once the spreadsheet is filled out, I can then make my grocery list.  After going to the grocery store on Friday night, I cooked Saturday morning and  made yogurt, the five recipes, bag of brown rice above as well as eight smoothies.  All are frozen in single serving sizes and I will thaw each out as I go through the month.

By doing this I save LOTS of money, calories and stress.  Let me know if you try doing this as well.

Are you willing to ride your horse hard?

One of the devotions I read from is The One Year Book of Christian History by E. Michael and Sharon Rusten where each day tells of an event that happened that day in Christian history.  Today's reading was a writing by Nathan Cole, a farmer and carpenter, that told of his journey to hear the legendary preacher, George Whitefield.  Here is just a portion: ...one morning all on a Sudden, about 8 or 9 o’clock there came a messenger and said Mr. Whitefield preached at Hartford and Weathersfield yesterday and is to preach at Middletown this morning [October 23, 1740] at ten of the Clock. I was in my field at Work. I dropt my tool that I had in my hand and ran home and run through my house and bade my wife get ready...and run to my pasture for my horse with all my might fearing that I should be too late to hear him. I brought my horse home and soon mounted and took my wife up and went forward as fast as I thought the horse could bear, and when my horse began to be out of breath, I would get down and put my wife on the Saddle and bid her ride as fast as she could and not Stop or Slack for me except I bad her, and so I would run until I was much out of breath, and then mount my horse again, and so I did several times to favour my horse, we improved every moment to get along as if we were fleeing for our lives, all the while fearing we should be too late to hear the Sermon..

And when we came within about half a mile of the road that comes down from Hartford Weathersfield and Stepney to Middletown; on high land I saw before me a Cloud or fog rising. I first thought it came from the great river, but as I came nearer the Road, I heard a noise something like a low rumbling thunder and presently found it was the noise of horses feet coming down the road and this Cloud was a Cloud of dust made by the Horses feet. It arose some Rods (rod = 16.5 feet) into the air over the tops of the hills and trees and when I came within about 20 rods of the Road, I could see men and horses Sliping along in the Cloud like shadows, and as I drew nearer it seemed like a steady stream of horses and their riders, scarcely a horse more than his length behind another, all of a lather and foam with sweat, their breath rolling out of their nostrils in the cloud of dust every jump; every horse seemed to go with all his might to carry his rider to hear news from heaven for the saving of Souls...

Mr. Cole made it in time to hear Rev. Whitefield and according to him, "My hearing him preach gave me a heart wound."  I'm afraid to say that in my world of great preaching on a weekly - and even daily - basis I am not quick to throw my tool to the ground and mount my horse to get a heart wound.  Oh, I make excuses...I am too busy.  Too tired. Too whatever. But the truth is I am just spoiled.

Thank you, Lord, that I live in a nation that the Word can freely be taught.  Thank you, Lord, that I live in a city where I have countless opportunities to hear - live - anointed preachers of God.  Forgive me, Lord, that I have taken this all for granted.  May I be quick to drop the things of this world (and my flesh) and ride hard after the things of God.

How about you?  What are you riding hard after?

For Wives: Things To Do As You Wait On a Miracle # 5

A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog. Play the Tapes to the End It often looks much greener on the other side of the fence. Don’t allow yourself to look through rose colored glasses. If you’re struggling with the desire to leave your husband, take a long, hard look at what that really looks like. The enemy is the master of lies. Would life really be easier? Are you sure that you really want to be single? What do children of divorced parents really feel? Are you so sure that your marriage is the one thing that is impossible for God?

Can You Stay for Today? Spending your time looking at the next 5 years or the rest of your life in a difficult marriage can make you run the other way. The Lord tells us not to worry about tomorrow because it has enough worries of its own. He wants us to live in today. Tomorrow is filled with what if’s. These things are not true yet and chances are they will never become reality. As you sit with the Lord and listen to His leading for the day, ask yourself, by the grace of God can you stay and do the right thing for today… Deuteronomy 30:11 says, “Now what I’m commanding today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.” You are not trapped. You can always choose differently tomorrow though I am confident that the Lord will amaze you with His grace as you choose obedience today.

Don’t Let Anything Keep You From Quiet Time with the Lord There is no way to live as a godly life apart from the Lord. You need to hear how deeply He loves you. You need to express your love for Him. You need His Wisdom. You need His Counselor. You need everything that He’s got and willingly extending to you. He IS your peace. He is your Shield. He is the Truth and the Way. He’s freedom and He’s your Deliverer! Occasional moments grabbed throughout the day will never reveal the God that you need to know. He is your very Life! Large chunks of devoted time early in the morning are your recharging. Take the Lord at His Word. “Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:11) “Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.” (Isaiah 41:10)

If you have little children, get up earlier than them. I know of a woman who had her quiet time in the middle of the night and then went back to bed. Yes, rest is important but the Lord will supply all of your needs, even rest, when we put Him first in all things. Try Him. Let Him prove it to you.

Ensure that you are reading God’s Word and not just about God’s Word. There are many useful tools and resources out there but they need to be supplements to a healthy diet of the Word of God. Ask Him to “Open your eyes to see wondrous things in His law.” He will not disappoint you!

The Lord knows that what He asks of us is not always easy. Sometimes, it may feel like it’s never easy but He is the Rewarder of those who earnestly seek Him. I can testify to a God who is WAY bigger than I ever knew – and I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg! I can testify that I have come to know the Creator God for He created love where there was none left. He truly healed my broken heart and has made beauty where there was only ashes. For that I am eternally grateful!

For Wives: Things To Do As You Wait On a Miracle # 4

A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog. Become Your Husband’s Cheerleader I’m confident that somewhere inside every man is a doubt or anxiety of “can I really do this?” Be a good husband, provide for a family, be a good lover. Become his cheerleader. Make a conscious point of looking for things that you can praise him for. I understand that at first, it may take some looking. We are in the habit of seeing the bad. Genuinely thank him for every good thing you see. Tell him that he’s doing a good job of … I have been stunned by how much my husband has appreciated this. These are pleasant words that are sweet to the soul and bring healing to his bones like Proverbs 16:24 talks about.

Allow Yourself to Be Dependent on Your Husband Depending on how badly you’ve been hurt, this can be very difficult. Even if you’ve never said it consciously, our tendency is to build walls so that we won’t be hurt again. 1 Peter 3:1 tells us to “be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them]…” Chances are you rebel against things that you would consider bad decisions on their part. The enemy tells us not to let ourselves “go down” with that sinking ship. A friend of mine taught me to say, “whatever you think is best, dear.” Rather than argue your side, if, after simply and calmly stating your opinion, you are of differing minds, winsomely say “whatever you think is best.” Be mindful not to be patronizing. Your husband will know the difference.

It is safe for you to submit to your husband even if you are positive that he is making the wrong decision because Jesus is the Lord of lords. You are not responsible for your husband’s decision but you are responsible for your response to him. That same wise friend reminded me that submission only occurs when we disagree. If I’m not of a differing mind, it’s called agreement. Submission is difficult and it goes against everything the world (and our unbelieving friends) tell us but it is richly rewarded by our Heavenly Father. It is even safe for you to submit to an unbelieving husband or one that is not walking with the Lord as long as what he asks of you is not immoral or illegal. That same verse in 1 Peter 3 continues to say “so that even if any (husbands) do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives.” I had to quit preaching and arguing my point and start living out my role as God intended.

We are to live as godly wives in “like manner” to how Jesus conducted Himself. “When He was reviled and insulted, He did not revile or offer insult in return; [when] He was abused and suffered, He made no threats [of vengeance]; but He trusted [Himself and everything] to Him Who judges fairly.” 1 Peter 2:23. Trust yourself to the One Who is faithful!

For Wives: Things To Do As You Wait On a Miracle # 3

A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog. Make an 80/20 List – or a 60/40! Make a list of things that attracted you to your husband in the first place. Make a list of good qualities that he has exhibited. Everyone has them. In fact, I believe we do have more good qualities than bad. It’s just easier to see the things we wish were different. Keep the list handy! Mine is in the back of my Bible and I purposely added to it whenever something would come to mind. Review the list often and thank the Lord for each quality.

Make Some Things Right, Seek Forgiveness Perhaps your parents didn’t bless your marriage or you were engaging in pre-marital sex. Seek forgiveness. You can seek forgiveness for not honoring your parents or seek forgiveness from your husband for not waiting to have sex with the Lord’s blessing. These things are not easy nor do many people think they are necessary but once they’ve been dealt with Biblically, when the enemy throws out lies like “you should have listened to your mother” you can stand on the Truth of no condemnation!

Learn the Lesson “But if Not…” I have found that in every major lesson life change/lesson that the Lord has taken me through there has come a point where I had to come to grips with the fact “but if not…” I’m still going to choose to follow the Lord in obedience. When I struggled with infertility and thought that the Lord was robbing me of a blessing, I had to come to the point where if He never gave me children, He was still Good. When my father was dying of cancer, if the Lord never healed him, He was still Good. If your husband never changes, God is still Good and it is the right thing to walk out your life in obedience. The other thing that I’ve found is that God is so gracious and generous!! He rewards our feeble steps in His direction!

My grandfather always used to say that if the Lord never did anything else for him but save his soul, it was worth serving Him forever. It’s the truth!

For Wives: Things To Do As You Wait On a Miracle # 2

A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog. Everyone Needs a Day 17 Ruth Myers, in her book “31 Days of Praise” has written an awesome scripture prayer about being thankful for the place in life that we are currently in. The whole book is about praising the Lord when things are difficult. It’s put out by Multnomah and is worth purchasing for anyone – crisis or not.

Surround Yourself with Positive Accountability Partners and Prayer Warriors If you are like me, it is easy to see the negative side of situations. You need people who will help you to see the positives. I needed someone who would stop me in mid-conversation if I was about to rant and complain about my husband. My friend would simply say, “have you taken this to the Throne?” or “have you tattled to Jesus?” Your friends and family don’t need to know all of the details. Whatever you spend the most time concentrating on is what is going to grow bigger. Surround yourself with friends that will say, “remember when…” and remind you of those good things that your husband has done. You may need to make a list. It makes it easier to remember when you aren’t seeing those qualities in the moment! If your friends aren’t currently operating in this way – ask them to! Tell them that it is what you need from them. It really is what you need from them. A word of caution – your accountability partners MUST not be of the opposite sex! That’s never appropriate and can lead down paths of destruction.

For Wives: Things To Do As You Wait On a Miracle # 1

A dear friend of mine write this and I thought it was worth adding it to my blog. Pray Less For Your Husband and More for Yourself This may sound totally selfish and inappropriate but sometimes, when a relationship is strained, it’s difficult to pray for your spouse without giving the Lord a long prescription of everything that you’d like to see changed in your spouse. Praying for your spouse can easily become a complaining session with the Lord and since the Lord knows better than us what is going on and what needs to be done, prayer sessions like that serve only to discourage us and remind us of everything that is frustrating or hurtful.

In a great little book “Get the Junk Out of Your Trunk: Let Go of the Past to Live Your Best Life” (by Duane Vander Klok) I learned that when we need to forgive someone who has hurt us, we need to pray blessing over their lives – with NO prescription! When we are praying blessing and not telling the Lord how He should do it, we are brought to the point of forgiveness and wanting to see good things happen in their lives rather than retribution. Prayer is something everyone says and even assumes but we do entirely too little of it and even less effectively. God’s Word is sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). Praying His Word, convicts us where we’ve fallen short. When we come into agreement with what He says and repent, it accomplishes His purposes within us (Isaiah 55:11). Our lives (and marriages) will be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). Some great scriptures to pray daily for yourself are: • 1 Corinthians 13:1-7, 12-13 • 1 Peter 2:18-25 (like the term or not, as married women we are “household servants” and we are the only one in our home with that job description) • 1 Peter 3:1-6, 8-9 • Proverbs 16:24

I liked the way these verses were worded in the Amplified Bible. It put some teeth to some of the words that were either too familiar or vague. I prayed these daily for many months. The words became ingrained in my mind and the Spirit would call them to mind – often – when I would be tempted to insist on my own rights or add something to a mental tally sheet of what my husband was doing “wrong” (1 Cor. 13:5).

I printed my prayers out on recipe cards and keep them in a photo album that fits into my purse. I recorded audios of them and put them on my I-pod. Keep them handy and commit to doing what they say. It’s not enough to just read them or highlight them and visit them occasionally. You must do what it says (James 1:22).

The Next Right Thing

For those of you who do not know me, I am the consummate planner! Making to-do lists is a joy to me which is only surpassed by checking off a completed task on these lists. As LifeHouse moves forward into its third decade of ministry, there is not a specific plan to follow or clear action steps to take. There is not a book at Barnes and Noble entitled “Running Maternity Homes for Dummies!” I am definitely in a place where I must constantly be on my knees asking God for directions. Can anyone else relate? What I continue to hear from Him is, “Just do the next right thing.” One step, one decision, one day at a time. I believe this is not just a word for me but a word for the residents that live at LifeHouse. Just do the next right thing.

Through the teaching of our Houseparents, the advice of our professional counselor and much prayer, the teens and young women of LifeHouse will realize what is the next right step. Proverbs 4:18 says, “...the path of the just and righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines more and more (brighter and clearer) until...the perfect day.” (Amp.) As I take the next right step… as the residents take the next right step, the path becomes clearer and clearer. Of course the opposite is true also. If we do not stay on the path of justice and righteousness, the path becomes darker and darker.

Would you please pray for all of us to remain on the path of Truth? Would you pray that together we can do the next right thing?

May you, too, do the next right thing.

Sticking to the Mission

It had been a busy day and I was starved!  Normally I would order out at Cafe Express or run through the drive thru at Jack in the Box but since I was trying to be a good steward I decided to go home and fix something.  There was no meat thawed but I did have  a frozen dinner...a Weight Watchers Chicken & Cheese Quesadilla.  Understand that I purchase the dinner for conveninece way more than to watch my waist line.  This was a new product so I had to read the cooking instructions much more carefully and that is when I busted out laughing. No more than 4 times is it indicated on the box that the dinner is TWO servings and not one.  Even in the cooking instructions area it says "Place 2nd quesadilla back into the freezer."  As a self proclaimed food addict, I know exactly where they were coming from.  It reminds me of something Horatio from CSI: Miami would say with his gun drawn, "Place your hands in the air and slowly back away from the freezer" or my friend's refrigerator magnet that says, "What you are looking for is not in here!"

But once I started cooking both quesadilla  (remember convenience not waist line), I realized that Weight Watchers is sticking to their mission.  Stouffer's mission is to sell more TV dinners to produce more profits but Weight Watchers' mission is not to sell frozen food but to help people lose weight.  How easy would it have been to rationalize not putting all the extra "warnings" on the package?  If we sell more TV dinners, we will have more revenue to reach more people.  If we sell more TV dinners, more people will know about us and will want to join.

With 90 seconds still left on my dinner, I wondered how I was doing with my own mission.  Was I regularly influenincg people for Jesus or was I just busy?  Was I spending quality time with those I love or catching up on missed reality shows?  Was I investing in the here and now or in the future?  I realized that it was time for some course corrections in a few areas of my life.

What about you, moms?  Is a clean house the mission or is it making great memories for your kids?

What about you, dads?  Is providing a new car when Junior is 16 the mission or is it supporting him at his 8th grade band concert?

What about you, employees?  Is getting a paycheck the mission or is it doing all things as unto the Lord?

Would love to hear about your mission and how you are doing sticking to it!

Legacy Part 4

Finally, the last part of this blog series concerning the impact abortion has on our great country.  In closing, let’s consider two quotes:

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”
- Theodore Roosevelt, 1910

“Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.”
- Peter Marshall, Chaplain to the US Senate in the 1940’s

I believe we are at a watershed moment in our country and I desire to give my all to make it happen. Do I have the extra time? No. Do I have the extra money? No. Do I have the extra energy? No. But as I look down the corridor of time into the eyes of future generations of spiritual children and grandchildren, these excuses do not hold water. I am determined and will get in the arena and fight for a worthy cause and whether in victory or defeat I can say I gave it my all.

Would love to hear your thoughts?

Legacy Part 3

Today is Part 3 of the 4-part blog series about the legacy we are leaving for our children and grandchildren.  The question I posed in part 1 was “What impact does the single issue of abortion have on our nation?”  So far we have covered the war in Iraq and immigration and border control.  Today let’s look at social security and the economy. 

Bottom line – in coming years, there will be more people taking out of social security then paying in. Why? See abortion numbers and baby boomer retirements from Legacy Part 2. Using an extremely conservative number based on only 1 million abortions annually and an annual salary at poverty threshold, there would have been an additional $38 billion paid into Social Security Insurance (SSI) in 2008. Now this is only a down payment on what the shortfall will be but it is a beginning. The cumulative additional revenue since 1991, the year Americans aborted in 1973 would be 18, paid into to SSI would be $311 billion in 2008.

You may be saying, “I know, Becky, but what about the additional burden because these are ‘welfare babies’?” Over 85% of abortions are performed on women living above the poverty threshold and over 50% are at least three times over the poverty threshold. (1)  On the flip side of this, how many workers would need to be hired because of the need for millions of more diapers, baby food, formula, etc. that would need to be produced each year? How many teachers, nurses, bus drivers, pediatricians would have jobs today if a million more American babies were born each year? How much impact will there be on the economy as these workers spend money in other sectors of society? How would Detroit be doing today if a million more Americans turned sixteen each year? We will never know. Grandmother in Ohio – abortion affects you. Farmer in Iowa – abortion affects you. College student in California – abortion affects you. Steel worker in Pennsylvania – abortion affects you. Retiree in Florida – abortion affects you. Married or single; rich or poor; black or white; right wing or left wing – abortion affects you.

Join me next week as I wrap up my thoughts concerning abortion and the impact on our future generations.

(1) Jones, Rachel; Darroch, Jacqueline and Henshaw, Stanley.  “Patterns in the Socioeconomic Characteristics of Women Obtaining Abortions in 2000-2001.” Guttmacher. September/October 2002. Guttmacher Institute. 6 September 2008 http://tiny.cc/0jjE2.