Take the First Step…The Second will Follow
/The first step in any journey of change or challenge is the hardest.
The first step in any journey of change or challenge is the hardest.
I know you have heard it…I have heard it…everyone is talking about it. We hear it on the news, on our social media and a few of us may have said it. The President has referenced it. Memes have been made about it. And professional athletes are tik-toking about it.
Failure is only final if we quit. Keep on!! Persevere!! This is the testing of our faith.
Even though I have not stepped onto a plane in almost 7 weeks (a record for me since 2010), I could almost give you the word for word announcement of the flight attendant as we taxi away from the gate.
What is your attention on? Is it things you can control or things out of your control? Let me know what you have your attention on.
If nothing else, this COVID-19 pandemic has shown, what really matters. As of this writing the projections are for at least a 30% unemployment, a stimulus package that our great-great grandchildren will be paying off and hundreds of businesses both small and large shutting down because they could not survive the weeks of no business.
Why do all this to our economy? Because social distancing and sheltering in place will prevent the spread of the virus.
Why does that matter? Because the prevention of the spreading of the virus will mean less people infected by the virus.
Why does that matter? Because less people being infected means fewer people needing hospitalization.
Why does that matter? Because fewer people being hospitalized means more people will be able to have access to ventilators.
Why does that matter? Because more people able to access ventilators will mean more people will be able to recover from the virus.
Why does that matter? Because it saves lives.
So let’s go back to high school algebra, if A=B and B=C than A=C, right? So, doing such “damage” to our economy matters because it saves lives and therefore lives matter more than our economy.
One day we will be out of this pandemic. One day we will be able to hug our friends and extended family members. One day we will get back on planes and shake hands and worship in our church buildings.
When that time comes, will we remember what really matters? Will our priorities get out of whack again? Will we once again be driven by the temporary and not the eternal?
My passion is to make sure that does not happen to me or others around me. My desire is to help people especially women live out what matters to them. Hopefully, during this time, many of us have gained clarity in what matters. If not, before this is all over, maybe take some time to do that. If you do have clarity about what matters to you, begin working on a plan to make sure that when life gets back to “normal” you keep the main thing the main thing.
For many, this clarity exercise and plan development is challenging so that is why over the next few weeks, I am going to take time each day to speak into that. I am going to provide tips and questions to help you make sure you do not go back to status quo. That the things that matter most to you, continue to receive your best after this pandemic.
In the Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley says, “Direction – not intentions – determines our destination.” Here are some examples:
o A man says, “I desire to have a great marriage”…yet when he is with his wife he is on his phone.
o A middle age businesswoman says, “I desire to be financially secure at retirement” yet lives above her means today.
o A young dad says, “I want to be around for my grandchildren’s wedding”…yet spends no time exercising and overeats.
o A college coed says, “I want to have a deep spiritual walk with the Lord”…yet spends each morning reading the latest blog posts.
o A young woman says, “I want my husband to love the Lord with all his heart” …yet dates any guy that asks her out because he is cute.
o A mom of teens says, “I want my children to have deep relationships with Christian friends” …yet doesn’t take the time for church during the week or on weekends.
They all had great intentions and for many deep desires but their actions did not reflect their intentions. When are actions are incongruent with our desires, we live lives of quiet desperation that will only be relieved when our actions match up to our desires.
I have created a worksheet that will help you begin to find clarity in your calling and help identify where you might have any inconsistencies. If you would like to download that worksheet, just go to this website. As always, if there is any way I can help you, please be in touch.
Not Unprecedent to God
During these unprecedented times we are experiencing….wait, are they really unprecedented? The online dictionary says that unprecedent means that it has not happened in the past…. But this has happened in the past.
There was the Spanish flu in 1918, Influenza in 1889, Cholera pandemic in 1852 and the deadliest the Bubonic Plague in the 1300’s. What makes this unprecedented is not COVID-19 but that we have had to stop. We are having to be still. We are having to learn to do life in a different way.
We do not have calendars filled with activities or practices or church services. We cannot fill our days with gym workouts, work relationships or outings to the movies. For the first time in many of our lives, all we have are our four walls and our immediate family.
Because of that, many families are getting back to the basics. Reminds me of what Vince Lombardi, one of the greatest football coach of all time said after a particularly bad defeat, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” Any moms out there who had to say, “Kids, this is a dining room table and we eat meals around it. Kind of like our van but without wheels.”?
Yet, what a gift this can be. I have seen more family hikes, board games, arts and crafts projects and home-cooked meals than ever on my social media feeds. Families are reading stories together, getting house projects done and just being a family.
Please let me encourage you during this time to practice three things: gratitude, trust, and peace. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be known to God.” (ESV) The key to not being anxious is the thankfulness mixed into the prayer. During this pandemic, why not take a few minutes each day and write down three things you are thankful for? Then spread some of that encouragement and tell three other people and ask them what they are thankful for. This is a habit you will want to do long after we get to go to the movies again.
Another reason, we cannot be anxious comes from the verse just before verse 6. Philippians 4:5 says, “Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand.” (ESV) We cannot be anxious because the Lord is at hand – the NIV translates it as the Lord is near. The God of the universe…the Great I AM…the Risen Savior and soon coming King is near. He is right here with those who know Him. This Sovereign God in which nothing is unprecedented is present and we are assured in Romans that nothing can separate us from Him. Trust in Him who promises us that troubles will come but we are to take heart because He has overcome the world.
Lastly, Philippians 4:7 has an amazing promise. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (ESV) Peace is not something we work up. It is not something we can strive for and achieve. But rather it is the fruit of the Holy Spirit and a byproduct of prayer and gratitude. The key to this is being still (Psalm 46:10.) In the original Hebrew, still from Psalm 46:10 means to relax, refrain and even to withdraw. Now that our bodies need to be still, the next step is to help our minds be still. Be sure to take time each day and quiet your mind. Even if it is for 10 minutes while in the bathroom. Below are three verses that you can meditate on during this time.
· When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. (Psalms 56:3-ESV)
· Fear not, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10-ESV)
· For God give us not a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7-ESV)
As we all operate in gratitude, trust, and peace, Christ will be glorified and we will come out of this unprecedented time transformed. Let’s take full advantage of this gift that has been given to us.
Had this quoted scheduled LONG before COVID-19 but isn't its timing perfect?
Yesterday was Palm Sunday…and what a different way to celebrate Jesus’ triumphant entry. It should have been celebrated with lots of brothers and sisters in Christ. It should have been celebrated with children walking down the center aisle of the church waving palm branches and shouting, “Hosanna!” And this should have had the most church gatherings in the calendar year as many gathers for Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday services. It should have…but it’s not.
And this so grieves me. This loss of fellowship…this loss of connecting together…this loss of celebrating as a faith family…this loss of remembering as a body the work of Christ. My heart is saddened and it is ok – and really healthy – to admit that.
Yet, I do not want to stay there. I do not want to stay in the “shoulds” of life that are draining and totally out of my control.
I should be married by now.
I should have children by now.
I should have grandchildren by now.
I should weigh 150 pounds by now (ok, I might have a bit more control over this one. )
If I am going to spend anytime in the should of life, I want to focus on the ones that are life giving and in my control.
I should be dead if not for the grace of God.
I should be an emotional basket case if not for the transforming power of the Word of God.
I should be lonesome if not for the amazing love of those around me.
I should be in debt if not for the teaching of wise people.
I should be creating content for future blogs.
I should be reaching out to those who are shut-in.
I should be praying for my lost friends.
I should be trusting more.
There it is!! The last one…trusting more in the sovereignty and assurance of God. Romans 8:24-28 says, “For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And He who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
And what is that purpose…to be conformed into the image of Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29).
So today, grieve what is lost and what this pandemic is doing to our lives but also turn quickly to the “shoulds” that give life and that you can do something about.
Formula 409 was called 409 because formulas 1 through 408 failed.
This morning I was pouring the last cup of coffee and noticed a lot of grounds in the bottom of the coffee pot. When I opened up the coffee maker basket, the filter had pulled away from the side of the basket and there were grounds all along the side and on the bottom. The filter was there but it did no good if it did not cover the entire basket.
While listening to a sermon, I realized that I have a filter that I am not using and it is causing “grounds” to get into places I don’t want. The message was from James and the point was how to tame the tongue.
At the end he listed seven taming practices that I have started using to filter both what I say but also what I post:
1. Be slow to speak. (James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...)
2. Do not make empty promises. (James 2:16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?)
3. Do not curse. (James 3:10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.)
4. Do not criticize. (James 4:11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.)
5. Do not boast about future plans. (James 4:13-15 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”)
6. Say what you mean and mean what you say. (James 5:12 Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.)
7. Admit your faults. (James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.)
I am not going to say that I will always do this (see #2 above) but I am going to make it my goal to strive to apply this filter a bit more and tame my tongue.
Goals are dreams with plans attached to it.
Dream…plan…execute!
Recently as I was reading I John 5 (NIV), the word know seemed to pop out of the page. Again and again the Apostle John under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit repeats this word. So, I did a bit of research using Blue Letter Bible, on that little word.
In all occasions except one, John uses the Greek word eido. Only in verse 2 does he use the Greek word ginosko. Here are the definitions per the Blue Letter Bible:
GINOSKO: to learn to know, come to know, get a knowledge of, perceive
EIDO: to see; to perceive with the eyes
Here are the six instances that stood out to me.
How do we know that we love the children of God?(GINOSKO)
v. 2 This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out His commands.
How do we know we have eternal life? (EIDO)
v. 13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.
How do we know we have what we ask of Him? (EIDO)
v. 15 And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him.
What do we know about one who continues to sin? (EIDO)
v. 18 We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the One who was born of God keeps them safe, and the evil one cannot harm them.
Do you know that you are a child of God? (EIDO)
v. 19 We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.
Do you know Him who is true? (EIDO)
v. 20 We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know Him who is true. And we are in Him who is true by being in His Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.
In this world of so much uncertainty, I am comforted by the fact that I can KNOW a few things. I might not know what the stock market will do tomorrow, if this novel coronavirus is going to impact my mission trip in a week or if the rain will ever stop in Georgia.
But I can know that I have eternal life.
I can know that God hears my prayers.
I can know Him who is true.
I can know I am a child of God.
I can know about the one who continues in sin.
I can know if I love the children of God.
What do you know today?
What are you certain of?
What have you seen?
What have you perceived with your eyes?
Let’s focus on those things and leave the uncertainties…the unknowns to the All-Knowing God.
Wishful thinking or intentional action?
Being the planner that I am, I will regularly do an overview of my calendar and see what I have coming up in the next week or month. At the end of February, I looked at several months and realized I had overbooked myself. (I said I was a planner yet not necessary a good one.)
I had a two-day meeting in Dallas, TX…a mission trip to Uganda with a long weekend in Kenya….a bunch of high school baseball games and tennis matches…another meeting in Dallas…a trip to Houston…a couple of speaking engagements and more. As I sent my prayer letter to my prayer team and listed this all out, I was a bit overwhelmed.
Well, because of the COVID-19 pandemic, I sure don’t have that problem anymore! Not all of the above has canceled but a big chunk has and now my calendar is much clearer. So what am I going to do with that time? (See the planner in me still coming out.)
There are three areas I will focus on:
· Content Creation This free time will allow me to write more and develop content for blogs, courses as well as speaking. I have already scheduled 3 hours each day (M-F) to focus on this.
· Knowledge Increase John F. Kennedy said, “Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” In my evening hours, instead of sitting in the stands cheering on the nephews, I am going to read. I have pulled out four books to read to help me….
1. nurture relationships better by asking questions
2. develop contentment by trusting
3. deepen my dependence by enduring
4. cultivate joy by laughing
· Physical Health This area has really been a struggle for me this year. Exercise has not been anywhere on my to-do list and my eating is a bit out of control. So I am taking the time to do what I know to be right in this area and getting back on track.
What about you? How are you going to take advantage of this “captured” time?
Becky Turner is the National Managing Partner at The Barnabas Group who offers Personal Coaching, Coaching for Non-profit Executives and is the voice behind the "Laughing at the Future" podcast.